Woman in the Middle

Don’t be jealous, but Hubby, the girls and I went to see Fleetwood Mac last night. For people of a certain age (like me!) their hits were a big part of our youthful songbook. For me, who somehow always ended up with men who liked to go to concerts, the venue, the Forum in Inglewood, near LAX, is also a place brings back interesting memories.

First, the concert. Christine McVie has rejoined the group after a 16 year retirement. She sang lead on so many of their hits so it is great that she is back. That is why we decided to go, because we would get to see all five of them. All three lead singers, who aren’t spring chickens, sounded pretty darn good. The girls and I agreed that there might have been just a smidge too much Lindsey Buckingham. Mick Fleetwood pointed out that Lindsey never left the stage the whole concert, while the rest of them did at certain points. Well, when they left the stage it was all Lindsey. But, that being said, he is a great guitar player and he was playing his hits with the band.

Stevie Nicks was wearing black and dancing around the stage with her tambourine, just as you would expect and want. During the encore Mick Fleetwood had some fun and his moment center stage playing the drums like a madman and getting the audience all riled up. The only one that stayed in the background and never spoke to the audience was bass player John McVie.

The very first concert I ever went to was at the Forum. It was Billy Joel. I met the fellow who would become my boyfriend for the next 2 1/2 years. The group I was with sat at the very top, in the nosebleed seats. There weren’t hand rails (and there still aren’t) and climbing up to our seats almost felt like climbing a ladder. Getting back down with nothing to hold onto was terrifying.

Hubby and I went to an Elton John concert at the Forum when we were dating. We sat on the floor towards the back on some risers. Everyone started jumping up and down a one point and all of a sudden the riser dropped three or four inches. Scared the living daylights out of Hubby and I. Neither of us wanted to die in a crush of people while Elton John sang. Happily, everyone stopped jumping and the riser held for the rest of the concert.

More recently, we took the girls there to see the Rolling Stones. Hubby got us great seats and we were all thrilled to be there to see Mick, Keith, Charlie and Ron. Mick sang “The Girl with the Far Away Eyes” which he doesn’t do live very much. The stage extended out into the audience at one point and the Stones were so close, we could practically feel their sweat.

A word to anyone who lives in the Los Angeles area and might go to the Forum for an event – you will be walking up and down stairs. I presume they have provisions for people who are disabled, but everyone else will be using stairs to get to and from their seats and stairs to get into and out of the restrooms. Lots and lots of stairs. I think I took off quite a bit of the Thanksgiving pie I ate just getting from my seat, into the restroom and back to my seat last night.

There is one nice thing about getting old – that need to go out shopping on Black Friday just isn’t there for me any more. I used to get up in the middle of the night to go get the deals, but not any more. Don’t get me wrong, I love to shop. I poked around a bit at Kmart, which is right by my house. I bought a few things, which are mainly for Hubby to give to the people at work.   I also went to Target, but not until almost noon. It was busy but not crazy and, again, I picked up a few things and then got in line with only one person ahead of me.  Kohl’s was a whole other level, however. The line stretched all the way to the back of the store. I saw that and left right away.

We don’t buy a whole lot of electronics or things like that. I don’t have to go find toys for the girls. Maybe when I have grandchildren and my daughters what to go out and get the big deal or special toy, I will go with them to help hold a place in line.  But that is a few years in the future. Until then, Black Friday shopping will not be much of a thing for me.

How about you? Did you brave the crowds and lines to do Black Friday shopping?

My mother cooked Thanksgiving Dinner from scratch year after year. It was delicious every time. When I got my very first full time job out of college, I worked with a woman named Jennifer. One day, right before Thanksgiving, she and I were discussing what we would be having for the big dinner. She mentioned that she took some shot cuts, such as using boxed stuffing mix. I was appalled. Not make Thanksgiving from scratch? How could she even consider it? I am sure how I felt about her semi-homemade Thanksgiving was written all over my face….

A couple of years later, right after I married Hubby, my mother developed health problems and  Thanksgiving dinner (and every other holiday dinner for that matter) became my duty. With my mother and my grandmother (and Brother Dear, too) all expecting the same delicious dinner that Mom always made, I slapped on the cook hat and for several years I cooked Thanksgiving dinner from scratch, just the way mom did. The year I was pregnant with my second daughter it just about killed me. The next year I decided that it was time to make some changes.

Ever since then we have had Thanksgiving dinner in a variety of ways. We have gone out to restaurants. We have bought already cooked meals in a box from the grocery store. This year we had what I would call semi-homemade, just like my co-worker said she did so many years ago. Thanksgiving dinner is like the Super Bowl of meals and even doing it the semi-homemade route, it is a lot of work. I now completely understand why Jennifer took a few short cuts on her way to getting the big  meal on the table.

My older self would like to offer Jennifer, wherever she is, my apologies for looking down my nose at how she made Thanksgiving Dinner some thirty years ago. Ah, the arrogance of youth! And the wisdom of middle age!

I decided to come up with a list of things I am thankful for, using the letters of the word “Thanksgiving.” I am telling you, that was not so easy! So here is my somewhat serious/somewhat silly list.

What I am thankful for:

That Ralphs is cooking my turkey for me;

Having my family with me for Thanksgiving dinner;

Alfonso winning Dancing with the Stars;

Not having to shovel snow;

Kisses from Hubby;

So many wonderful memories;

Getting past that estate sale;

Intelligent and lovely daughters;

Vacuum that works

Ice (I like my cold drinks cold);

Not having anything I need to buy on Black Friday;

Going to see Fleetwood Mac this weekend.

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and a relaxing holiday weekend!

Youngest Daughter is a mechanical engineering major. FYI, not a whole lot of girls in that major. It just so happens that three of them (including my daughter) are all living together this year, thus cornering the market on 5th year female mechanical engineering majors all in one apartment!

Youngest posted something she found on a blog site called Pocket Protector and Heels. (pocketprotectorandheels.BlogSpot.com) While the blog said it was supposed to be funny, in my experience as the mother of a female engineer, most of these reasons are oh so true.  I think female engineers should be considered to be the perfect woman for most men, except, typical men, they are too blind to realize it! Hope you find these amusing like I did.

1. She’s too busy to be clingy. Engineers can work some pretty ridiculous hours, so you can’t expect her to be sitting around waiting for your text.
2. Years of working with socially inept people makes her forgiving of your social faux pas. You’d have to be super awkward in order to make her feel weird. Your bad self can probably still get away with sandals and socks on occasion.
3. She’s trained to consider facts over emotional responses. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t mean she is dead inside.
4. If you are a technical person, she’s interested in what you did at work today. No more eyes glazing over, she understands what you did and can ask you questions to show she was actually listening.
5. She knows how to be one of the guys. She won’t embarrass you in front of your boys because she knows how to blend into a group of dudes.
6. She can apply a deep understanding of physics, biology, and chemistry to your relationship. Yup. I went there.
7. She likes nerdy movies just as much as you do. She won’t judge how much you like the Avengers or X-Men, because she loves them too.
8. She’s good under pressure. If anything in your relationship is more stressful than her job, than you are doing something wrong.
9. She will support you in your endeavors to make your own sandwich. And you should really acquire this life skill and not expect a woman to do it for you. As they say, give a man a sandwich feed him for lunch. Teach a man to make a sandwich, do more useful things with your engineering degree.
10. She won’t call you to fix things around the house. She can fix them herself, thank you very much. Unless it’s a gross bug, or a dead animal. Then all the rules go out the window; they don’t teach that stuff in thermo.
11. She is a pro at building a solid foundation to any relationship, and knows how to make sparks fly. Yeah, I’m not sure what this one ever is supposed to mean. It’s 100% here for a reach pun. I hope you enjoyed it.
12. She will laugh at your lame puns. See the number 11.
13. She’s low maintenance. She’s learned to sacrifice wearing fashionable dresses and stiletto heels for coveralls and steel toed boots in the name of practicality.
14. If you have a problem, she’ll fix it. Engineers are problem solvers, and we are trained to fix problems instead of just feeling sorry about it.
15. She’s not desperate. She knows plenty of guys, so she won’t shack up with just anyone.

Holy mackerel,people, we survived the estate sale! A whole lot of stuff left, Yay! A whole lot of stuff is still left, bummer….

We had seven people all together working the sale – the four of us plus three friends. And I can tell you, that was barely enough people to cover one small house and a whole lot of folks ready to shop. One lady bought so much stuff I finally asked her, “Do you have a shop?” She did, thank goodness, because if she didn’t, she would have been a hoarder of extraordinary proportions. She took almost the entire table full of Lennox collectables, leaving us with just the Songbirds of America. What did she have against birds?  She also took two chairs, two small pieces of furniture, and a whole lot of Christmas stuff. I was so happy that I put an ad in the paper because, even if no one else came from that ad, she made it worth the cost.

As usual with these sorts of things, so much stuff was bought that we thought no one would ever want, Meanwhile, so many things we thought would fly off the shelves are still sitting there. I was the money person and by the end of the day my brain was so tired I think I was about one level above comatose.   Hubby and a friend were the muscles and had to lift and tote many things during the sale, so he was fried, too, but for a different reason. Of course, poor Hubby was also fried just because it was his childhood home being emptied.

While we still have much to do, it felt good getting that major step out of the way. Now, on till dawn!

When I first began blogging, I posted almost every day. That went on for months until I got all that pent up writing out of my system. A few months ago I got a second wind. I am not sure why, but I suddenly have lots of things to blog about again. But then, a week or so ago, life intervened.  Even though I still have a fire under me and plenty of things to blog about I am missing a key ingredient – time. My life got insanely busy all of a sudden, but not for any bad reason, really.

One thing that began in November is that I am teaching a class for the extension department of my local university. It is primarily an online class, which means learning how to use the interestingly named Moodle program, etc….Also, since I have never taught this class before I have to create all the materials, which can be a challenge for an online class. And, because I have never taught before, period, it takes more time as I figure out what to pull together.

We have also been making a mighty push at Mom in Laws and I am happy to report that the estate sale is happening this Saturday. When we set up a giant table and started putting out all the Christmas stuff we unearthed from her basement, I realized that the sale needed to happen BEFORE Christmas. Hubby and I are going a little nuts with it all, don’t get me wrong. But at the same time we are happy it is happening. We need to be done. We need the seven, yes seven, punch ladles to leave. We need the table full of Lennox collectables to leave. We need the two dozen cherub Christmas ornements in their velvet lined cases to leave. We were over there last night trying to put the final touches on the kitchen and while I was at a meeting Hubby was over there tonight.

You put al that together with my normal life and the everyday crisis that happen (like Blackie the cat of mystery,, illness that is) and I have been so so busy. When things calm down for a minute I seem to collapse instead of doing anything else productive. But I am sure you all understand. Life is just like that sometimes.

When I six years old we moved to a new house. The neighbors on one side of us were an older couple who had never had any children. They were both very nice people but it was Mrs. McNamara who I was especially drawn to. There was an entire room in her house devoted just to her doll collection. OMG!    One had a face that looked just like my beloved Tiny Sue! She did interesting things like put leftover string and yarn outside for the birds to make nests with and made something called a “mock apple pie” with Ritz crackers that tasted just like apple pie. My mom and I had never had anything like it in our lives. She mixed scrambled eggs and sliced green olives and mayonnaise and put it on bread for a sandwich. You should try it, it is delicious! Her house was a paradise to a little girl and I thought she was a goddess of goodness and wonderment. How lucky I was when we moved in next door.

This wonderful neighbor’s name was Ariel. I had never heard of that name before and thought it was lovely. I thought it was so lovely that I always kept that name in the back of my mind, just in case I had a little girl….Then 25 years ago today, a little over two months before I was to have my first child, the Disney movie, the Little Mermaid, came out. That little red-headed half-fish was called “Arielle.” And just like  that, Disney crushed my plans. I did not want to spend my daughter’s childhood explaining that she was not named after a Disney character. Besides. Ariel went from being an obscure, old-fashioned name to being everywhere. There were lots of moms who had no qualms naming their daughters after a Disney movie.

I couldn’t name a daughter after dear Mrs. McNamara but I will certainly never forget her. And I will also never forget how Disney crushed my plans!

I have mentioned before, I like to pack lightly when I go on vacation. I really really dislike having to wrestle a bunch of stuff around when I am on a trip. It takes some of the joy out of travel for me. This is particularly true if I am traveling on an airplane. I also despise the new norm in air travel which requires payment for a checked bag.  If all four of us are traveling, it means another $200 round trip out of my pocket just to check luggage which could be spent doing something fun on vacation instead.

On our recent 5 night, 6 day trip to Portland and Seattle, all four of us took one carry on each. We included enough clothing, shoes, and such to get us though as well as presents for three friends. Most people I mention this to are a little surprised. This is how I do it:

1. I don’t worry about looking beautiful on vacation. I do not take blow dryers, curling irons, or flat irons. I take a brush. Hubby takes a comb.

2. Traveling in summer helps. In the winter it is more difficult to pull it off. If it is spring or fall, I wear the jacket I am taking onto the plane.

3. I do not travel to jungles or other wild places. I am in cities and can buy anything I need that I forgot or suddenly need to have.

4. I assume every pair of pants or shorts can be worn twice, three times in an emergency.

5. Rolling clothes instead of folding them makes much more room in my bag.

6. Most hotels provide shampoo and soap so I don’t bring much of those two items.

7. We take casual vacations. What I wear during the day works for night as well. I do not feel the need to take many things that are for  ”just in case.”

8. If I do take a dress, I have a few already that are lightweight and do not take up much room.

9. I maximize my use of the airline’s “one carry on and a personal item” rule. My “personal item” is usually a decent size bag, but one that will fit under the seat in front of me.

10.  I would prefer not to have to do laundry while I am gone, but I really dislike having to carry around a bunch of stuff. So, if necessary, I will do laundry if it means I have less junk to carry.

11. The one thing I do not skimp on is shoes. Happy feet are a must for vacation. If that means two extra pairs of shoes, I will find room for them. Hubby wears nothing but his Reeboks every day anyway so it is the same on vacation. He just takes the one pair and they are on his feet, not in a suitcase.

I joke that I am working towards going on vacation will little more than a toothbrush and an extra pair of underwear. Well, I am half joking, actually.   If airlines  decide to charge for carry on bags, I  may be forced to do just that!

That is how we travel for up to a week with one carry on each.  I realize that this style of travel isn’t for everyone, but for those of you who may wish to travel lightly, I thought I would share what I do.

Blackie had his x-rays yesterday afternoon. They were as unenlightening as his blood work. They may show something, but maybe not. What they do show could mean something… or not. Sigh…….

The doctor decided to put him on a low dose of streroids to see if that would help his appetite and make him feel better. I am happy to report that one dose and the old Blackie was back. He slept with Eldest Daugher on her bed last night and then came out and slept on Hubby’s stomach for two hours. Blackie is also eating pretty well. He is at least back to where he was before last week, eating numerous small meals each day. By noon today he had eaten four times. Yay!

Blackie also isn’t hanging out on his bed in the garage, which tells us he isn’t wanting to be left alone.  Here is hoping the steroids readjust what ever is causing him problems and he remains feeling well even after they stop.

On a side note, somehow the preferred language on my computer seems to have been switched to Spanish. Since Eldest Daugher is taking Spanish, I think I can blame her. This is causing Word to see every word I type as misspelled. I have no idea how to fix that, but will be sure to get Eldest to fix it next time I see her. So please forgive any typos or misspellings. I tried to correct everything but with every word underlined in red, it was hard!