Good Bye Brother Dear
Woman in the Middle | December 29, 2013I had taken to calling my Big Bro “Bother Dear” because he was a dear. A funny, cranky, grumpy, sick dear. I hope he was able to hear the affection that was all wrapped around that phrase as I tried to pretend everything was normal and OK when it certainly was not.
As I told you a few days ago he was felling a bit better after feeling really rotten the 25th and 26th. But that didn’t mean things were OK. I spoke to him Friday night and he was sounding a bit perkier. He expressed his concern that he not become a burden on his roommate, Dave. I told him that the hospice social worker and I were working on what should be done and where he should go, the phrase left unsaid was “for your final days.” However, I thought (as did the social worker and my bother’s nurse) that he was OK in his apartment for a few more days. As the end of the call he said he loved us all and I told him I loved him, too, more than once.
He fell Saturday morning in the bathroom and forgot that his roommate was in the hospital. The people who live in the apartment upstairs heard him calling and banging on the wall. They called the roommate who called another friend who came and helped Brother Dear up. That wonderful friend kept an eye on Brother Dear while Hubby and I tried to come up with a plan, not so easy on a Saturday. Things like this are also not so easy when you are dealing with an independent smoker who likes his cable TV and has gotten into the habit of sleeping and being awake at all hours of the day and night.
In the end, it was all for naught. Sometime between noon, when the friend last checked on him, and 1 o’clock or so, Brother Dear had a heart attack and went quickly and peacefully, lying in bed. I was glad to know he had felt a little better that last day. How did I know? Because my clothes horse bother was dressed very nicely in a coordinating outfit, of course, something he wouldn’t have done if he was feeling like he did a couple of days before.
The hospice nurse told me he had told her that he wished he could go quickly in his sleep. Well, it looks like he got his wish. I hope the bright light and all who have gone before called him to their side and he is well and at peace. Good bye, Brother Dear.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It must have been very difficult for you to write this post. I hope you have many memories of happier times to bring you comfort.
I am so sorry for your loss. Even when we know it’s going to happen soon, we are not quite prepared.
I wish I had words for all of this. I am so so sorry.
I was saddened to read of the loss of your brother. As the year closes, I hope you and your family can both cry and laugh over memories of him.
Just remember that funny picture of him winning Trivial Pursuit and you’ll be all smiles.
I was just looking at the photo today and it did make me smile!
This post made me sad, I am so sorry for your loss I have only one brother and can’t imagine how I would be if I lost him……………
I am so sorry for your loss.
My deepest sympathy on your loss. It was good you were able to to so many things together this year.