It was a Crappy Day…Really!
Woman in the Middle | July 9, 2013If you find pet stories involving poop offensive, I advise you to run from your computer as fast as you can. The following story is not for the faint of heart!
Last week was not a good pet week. Blackie was quite out of it on Tuesday and I took off work to take him the vet. They had to do blood work to see what was going on in his chubby body, but meanwhile the exam showed he was quite constipated. They decided to give him an enema. Just for future reference, a cat that has had an enema will likely smell bad and will need a bath. That is what Hubby and I did Tuesday evening – bathe an already unhappy cat. Blackie is a nice cat, though, and it went very well and no blood was lost, by him or by us. I really thought that would be my animal poop story of the week. Oh, how wrong I was!
Saturday morning I let Honey out and then wandered out the gate to the driveway to retrieve the newspaper. When I got back something didn’t seem right so I looked around and saw no evidence of Honey’s morning constitutional. Hum…I decided that I needed to let her out again in an hour or less. Ah, the best laid plans!
Fast forward 3 1/2 hours and Honey had yet to see the outside world again when the lawn guys arrived. Honey hates the lawn guys. They have noisy machines that come right up to the windows. So she started her lawn guy barking routine. I was at the computer and tried my best to ignore her as much as possible. This went on for a little bit with her running around and barking when I decided to look up and tell her to be quiet. From the computer I can look to my left and see straight to the sliding glass door into the back yard. Unfortunately, when I looked over I was able to see that Honey had made a deposit on the rug that we have there. Yes, the same rug that Blackie recently threw up on. I am beginning to feel very sorry for that rug!
I got up to deal with the deposit when I was greeted by a rather horrifying sight. You see, Honey has absolutely no interest in what is under her feet. She steps on anything that is on the floor as if it isn’t there. That is what she had done with her fresh pile of poop. Stepped in it, kicked it around, ran through the den, kitchen, and office with it on her feet…Poop was literally everywhere. I have never seen poop spread so far and wide and on so many different surfaces in my life!
As I gasped in horror, I smelled a weird and awful smell. Honey’s poop smelled like coffee! Well, coffee and poop. “Why does Honey’s poop smell like coffee?” I asked. Eldest Daughter told me she had just made a cup of coffee so I really was smelling coffee. Just then Youngest Daughter emerged from her room to see what the commotion was about, and, smelling the nauseating brew of poop and coffee, retreated as quickly as possible. She later told us that while it wasn’t the worst thing she had ever smelled, it was definitely top 10 for her!
I ran to the shop where Hubby was doing some woodworking, and told him what had happened and that I could not face this situation alone. We came in and I put the dog in the garage because the hated lawn guys were still present. I banished Eldest and her coffee to her room and Hubby and I just stood there, not knowing where to start.
Finally, with paper towels in hand, a plastic bag for the trash and pickings nearby, and bucket of sudsy water at the ready, Hubby and I went to work. Forty five minutes later we were reasonably poop free once again. Final count was five rugs or carpets, three rooms, 20 feet of hallway, and a garage were adversely affected.
Honey and her poopy feet were banished to the yard for several hours. I finally ran a bath and carried her in later. Believe me, those feet got a scrub! When it was all over, the look on her face stayed the same for quite some time. It was the doggie equivalent of , “I don’t know what the hell happened but it must have been bad!”
This is Honey after her bath with her “What the hell happened?” look.
To help in our recovery from this horrific situation, the whole family took a trip to Orange County to a great used bookstore we recently discovered as well as to have dinner. I didn’t think it would be possible so quickly, but on the way home we started talking about the poopy nature of our week, and especially the events of the day and we all started laughing, and laughing, and the tears ran down my face, and we all laughed some more. Saturday July 6th, 2013 will go down in infamy as the day of THE WORST animal mess ever. Numero Uno, so far ahead of any other poopy experiences we have ever had, that it is hard to imagine it will ever be topped. But it was still pretty funny! After the poop was cleaned up, of course!
By the way, Blackie is feeling much better and we are trying to make sure he is never constipated again.
It must be pet poop week. I am posting a poop story tomorrow. Fortunately, the poop wasn’t as widespread as your story. It’s funny how you can clean it up when it’s your own pet but it sounds horrendous when it’s someone else’s!
Too funny! MoJo, our dog, will watch the cats poop, then bury it and he will go dig it up and eat it. I gag just thinking about it. Of course, he then wants to come and lick you. Ewww
Honey looks so cute in that picture!
Ok I feel for you, and have to say I am glad it was you and not me……………….at least you had hubby to help you clean up if it had happened here hubby would had left the house telling me to ring him when it was all cleaned including the dog……………..yeah he is as useful as tits on a bull at times………….